What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What! how could you do that?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Quia et magnam illo.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What do you mean son?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Can you share the entire summary of your spiritual life?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

True - how I loved my mum!

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“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Do you know what she said mum?

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Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Can you tell me something about yourself?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”